From Kevin's Blog People need to read

I would of just linked to this blog but a lot of bad people linked to it and i didn't want that hwere so i cut and pasted it.

Read Kevin's Blog at http://thehomelessguy.blogspot.com/

Friday, November 19, 2004

Another Dear Homeless Guy Email

Dear Homeless Guy,

I am looking for information to write a paper about homelessness for my social work class, I'm going for my MSW at Boise State University. I also volunteer for several things such as Treasure Valley Referral where we connect people with needs for things such as food, rent, clothes, medicine etc with the actual items they need. Several months back I became a board member of our local housing coalition and it comes up all the time: What can we do? Sure we set up free Holiday dinners and give out coats etc.. but from your experience, what do you want us to do, how can we really help without getting in your way or being demanding and holding restrictions up?

MSW


Dear MSW at BSU,
Instead of thinking what you can do "for", or "to", the homeless, trying thinking of things you can do "with" the homeless. If you desire that the homeless be a part of your society, you should start including them in the things you do. Homeless people need community - community not just among the homeless but among all people. In that you will find the gap between the homeless and non-homeless narrowing.In that you will find more homeless people making the jump, from their kind of life, to your kind of life.The Homeless GuyDear Homeless Guy,Thank you for responding. Can you help me clarify? What do you mean by with? If I am taking my little girl to the zoo, should I call our local shelter and invite someone to go with us? Can you give me a suggestion on how I can encourage our community as a whole to open up to include homeless? I am eager to participate, but I am also still learning.

MSW


Dear MSW at BSU,

Well, like introducing any new person into your life, you do it carefully, and respectfully. You build up trust over time, starting small, and moving ahead only when you feel comfortable doing so. It took a while, a couple years, before my boss started inviting me to his home for parties he was throwing. And it took me even longer to feel comfortable being around his friends, and before his friends started becoming my friends. The process of becoming homeless is usually years in the making, and so getting out of homelessness permanently usually takes as long. Of course there are many ups and downs along the way.I'd start out by just having coffee, or having lunch together, and continue only in that vein until you'vre really gotten to know that person. Then introducing other family members slowly and in small steps - getting more involved, doing more involved things only gradually.It will take as long for the homeless person to feel trusting of you, as for you to feel trusting of them.Don't be surprised if someone you've befriended suddenly cuts off all communication. Just find someone else and start the process with. Homeless people can be fickle. Don't take it as a slight against you, and don't try to pursue a homeless friend. Let them return to communicating with you when they feel ready. Though you should hold your homeless friend accountable to your friendship, try not to make them feel guilty for their failure to meet your expectations. Mosthomeless people are emotionally fragile, and will usually feel more guilt than is necessary for a given situation - usually blaming his/herself for any failure of the relationship you've created together.At the same time, do not tolerate any disrespect from the homeless person towards yourself. Be assertive of your boundaries from the beginning. Don't allow them to use your possible feelings of guilt, or sympathy for them, as a means of manipulating you - of getting you to do things, or provide things, you are uncomfortable with. That especially holds true for requests for cash. Until such time as a homeless person gets to know you and respect you, he/she night figureyou for an easy mark. If you hold firm to your boundaries, (which at some time or another they will test you), they will eventually respect you for it.

The Homeless Guy